9 years ago, T.J.’s death shattered my soul. Reflecting on the days and weeks following his death I remember a push and pull deep inside moving me forward on a wave of love and kindness. The thought of having a meaningful life outside of the darkness without T.J. was inconceivable— yet there was a spark within. Now, 9 years later I realize that spark was the center of my soul that was not shattered, but now laid wide open, no longer covered by years of human existence, hurts