Happy 32nd Birthday T.J.

Today I celebrate you and all that you brought to this world, our family and your friends. I celebrate the vibrant energy you brought to everything you did and the love you shared with so many. I celebrate the gift of being your mom remembering the very moment you entered this world. Your birthday is always filled with so many mixed emotions for me—joy that I got to be your mom and absolute devastation that you left this earth way too early in such a tragic way.

On your birthday I always take time to reflect on you, your life and your babyhood—those precious moments when I first held you in my arms. This year as I reflected, I am so very grateful to be able to reflect while holding your precious niece in my arms—the same arms that once held you close. I hope you know she is your namesake. I hope you know how much you are still loved and remembered. I hope you continue to exist with all the exuberance you brought to this life, and I know you continue to share your limitless capacity to love because I feel it every moment of everyday.

I will forever ache knowing your life ended by suicide, but I will move forward in love and do whatever I can to prevent others from ever feeling so broken that they can’t see another way forward. That is my gift to you.

Happy Birthday Precious T.J. I love you more