© 2018 Remembering T.J.

Mother's Day—A Shift in Perspective

May 13, 2018

 

“Mother's Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.” Since the death of my son T.J. Mother’s Day has taken on a completely different meaning for me. In the first few years after his death, this day brought a searing pain to my inner self that went beyond description. There could be no “celebration” when one of my precious children was no longer on this earth. 

 

7 years after his death, like so many things in my life, my thoughts on this day have transformed. I have learned that so much is a matter of perspective—or a shift in perspective. For me today, Mother’s Day is no longer met with searing pain, but with gratitude. I am so grateful I got to be T.J.’s Mom and the Mother of my two other wonderful sons, John and Matt.  I understand that many women who hope desperately to be mothers are not always given the opportunity. My heart embraces their pain. 

 

I also understand that motherhood comes in many forms and extends way beyond giving birth. While I was blessed with an incredible mother who was loving and selfless and all the things we hope a mother to be, I have also been blessed with many other women in my life who have “mothered” me through the years with love and kindness and support. For me the word Mother means to love and cherish those in our midst whoever and whatever that may mean. 

 

I am grateful to all the women I encounter everyday who “mother.” I have seen women who mother precious animals, women who mother the earth, educators who mother their students, nurses and doctors who mother their patients. In so many walks of life, people mother the people they encounter everyday through love and kindness. They all make the world a little brighter. 

 

So, for all those who find this day to be painful—know that once a mother, always a mother—and everyone can mother.  All the love that is within you can be shared and given. There are so many out in the world in need of mothering. We can all give of ourselves in the way that has become synonymous with being a wonderful mother. 

 

And the interesting thing is, if you begin to give that love away, you just may find that the intense pain of loss that can paralyze you, may begin to shift and change. You may notice that through the devastation, your heart can open wider with more depth and insight and that giving away the love that resides in each of us will serve as a balm for your broken heart and will come back to you tenfold.

 

Let us all freely give all the love we hold in our hearts every day to all those around us. This love truly is one of the only limitless things within us. The more we give, the more we have. This is the best way to celebrate and honor mothers—today and always. 

 

Today I am grateful 

Today I choose to shift my perspective from what has been lost to what still exists

Wishing everyone a blessed day

Posted with Love and T.J. hugs

 

#Mother'sDay #Loss #GrievingMothers

 

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