7 years ago today I woke up and had no idea that in mere hours my entire world would implode. T.J., my precious child, 2nd born of my 3 beautiful boys, would die by suicide. 7 years later it still rocks my soul to write those words. 7 years later I am not only still standing and functioning, but I have joy in my heart and my soul is at peace. How can it be that I have not only survived, but I have been able to thrive in the shadow of my boy’s death?
T.J.'s death left me with the gift of awareness. That gift opened my mind and heart through quiet moments of reflection and I was able to find peace amid my heartbreak. It allowed me to grow in my brokenness so I could see outside of myself to the struggles and pain of so many. Heartache comes in many forms, but healing comes through love, kindness and compassion.
7 years later I find myself in a place where I realize that love never ends. T.J. may have crossed onto the next plane, but I still see him in the sunrise each morning, the birds soaring in the sky, the stars that fill the night sky, the vast ocean he so loved and in my family and friends.
7 years later I have learned so many things about mental health and suicide and have been humbled by the many people I encounter who have shared their own stories of struggles and hope. I am grateful for the opportunity to shine a light on these important issues and know that T.J. is guiding us in this work.
7 years later I continue to mourn the everyday moments with my boy, but 7 years later I can breathe and sing and rejoice in the gifts this life has thrown my way knowing that I may not always understand, but I can answer whatever this life throws at me with love. Love truly can conquer all.
Posted with much love and T.J. hugs.