© 2018 Remembering T.J.

Happy Birthday in Heaven T.J.

September 23, 2017

My boy. . .forever 16. . .stuck in time. . .never moving forward on this earthly plane. I see your brothers, cousins, friends and classmates moving forward onto the next phase of life, but you will be forever a teenager on the brink of manhood.

 

The concept of time for a mother whose child has left this earth is filled with emotions that can be difficult to understand. I want time to stop—how dare life continue without you. Yet, I want it to move quickly forward for the days without you rip through my broken heart.

 

With each passing year, the missing gets worse, different, it is now part of my core. The memories become harder to hold onto and I’m just so tired. Tired in a bone weary way that is impossible to describe, yet filled with an almost frantic energy because I fear if I stop I may never move forward again. 

 

You remain front and center in my heart and in my mind. I feel you with me every minute of everyday. Just as I once carried you in my womb, I now carry you in my heart—forever and always.

 

Today marks the day of your birth.  A day I celebrate with every bit of my being. My soul rejoices in the gift that is you as you continue to leave your mark through the lessons you left us, and the lessons you continue to teach.

 

Happy, happy birthday T.J. May you be filled with joy and peace and a knowledge that you are loved—forever and always, to the moon and back and then so much more than that. Love never ends and neither do you T. And that love continues to grow. We have been lifted and carried by your love and the love of everyone around us. It is amazing, awe inspiring and a miracle to behold. Love really is all you need. 

 

With all my love my precious boy,

Mom

 

Posted with Love and T.J. Hugs

 

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